Forced contact between parent and child

What if a parent refuses a child contact arrangement?

Under Dutch law, a court can order a parent to comply with a care or contact arrangement and may impose a financial penalty for non-compliance. However, contact disputes can involve two opposite situations:

1. A parent refuses to hand over the child or otherwise prevents contact with the other parent.
2. A parent refuses to see or care for the child during their own scheduled contact time.

In practice, many enforcement cases concern the first situation: the parent with whom the child lives does not facilitate contact with the other parent. This article addresses that situation, but also explains the less common reverse situation in which a parent does not want to exercise their own care or contact rights.

The legal position differs depending on the type of refusal and whether the parents have parental responsibility. In every case, the child’s safety and best interests remain decisive.

Two different forms of non-compliance

It is important to identify which parent is refusing to comply.

A parent refuses to hand over the child

In this situation, one parent wants to see the child, but the other parent:

• refuses to make the child available;
• does not bring the child to the agreed location;
• prevents the other parent from collecting the child;
• repeatedly cancels contact without sufficient reason; or
• otherwise obstructs the care or contact arrangement.

This is sometimes described as obstructing or frustrating contact.

A court can order the obstructing parent to cooperate with the arrangement. Depending on the circumstances, the court may clarify the handover arrangements, impose a financial penalty or take another measure intended to restore contact.

A parent refuses to exercise their own contact

The reverse situation can also occur. A parent may:

• fail to collect the child;
• repeatedly cancel their own contact weekends;
• refuse to provide care;
• announce that they no longer want to see the child; or
• leave all care and upbringing responsibilities to the other parent.

This article’s original case concerned this second situation. Dutch courts have also ordered unwilling parents to exercise care or contact if this is considered to be in the child’s interests.

Care arrangement or contact arrangement?

Dutch law distinguishes between a care arrangement and a contact arrangement.

Both parents have parental responsibility

If both parents have parental responsibility, the arrangements are generally referred to as a care arrangement or division of care and upbringing duties (zorgregeling).

Under Article 1:247 of the Dutch Civil Code, parental responsibility includes the duty and the right to care for and raise the child. It also requires a parent to promote the child’s relationship with the other parent.

These responsibilities continue after separation or divorce. If the parents cannot agree on the division of care, the court can establish or change a care arrangement under Article 1:253a of the Dutch Civil Code.

A parent with parental responsibility must therefore:

• perform their own care and upbringing duties; and
• cooperate with the child’s relationship and contact with the other parent.

One parent does not have parental responsibility

If a parent does not have parental responsibility, the arrangements are generally referred to as a contact arrangement (omgangsregeling). Internationally, the terms “visitation” and “access” are also sometimes used.

Article 1:377a of the Dutch Civil Code provides that a child has the right to contact with their parents. It also expressly states that a parent without parental responsibility has both the right and the obligation to have contact with their child.

This means that the parent with whom the child lives must generally facilitate contact, while the parent without parental responsibility is also expected to exercise that contact.

What can the court do if a parent refuses to hand over the child?

If a parent obstructs an existing care or contact arrangement, the other parent can ask the court to order compliance.

Depending on the circumstances, the court may:

• order the parent to make the child available;
• determine who must collect and return the child;
• establish a neutral handover location;
• specify exact days and times;
• order a gradual resumption of contact;
• arrange supervised contact;
• require the parents to cooperate with professional assistance; or
• attach a financial penalty to non-compliance.

The court will consider why the handover did not take place. There is a difference between a parent deliberately obstructing contact and a parent who is unable to facilitate contact because of a genuine emergency or serious safety concern.

The parent with whom the child lives is generally expected to encourage and facilitate contact. Simply stating that the child does not want to go will not always be sufficient. The court will consider the child’s age, views, behaviour and possible reasons for resisting contact.

Can a parent be ordered to exercise their own care or contact?

A court can also order a parent who refuses to see or care for the child to comply with the arrangement.

For a parent with parental responsibility, this obligation follows from the duty to care for and raise the child. For a parent without parental responsibility, Article 1:377a BW contains an express statutory obligation to have contact.

Personal unwillingness, work commitments or difficult communication with the other parent will not usually be sufficient on their own. A parent relying on practical, financial, psychological or medical obstacles must properly substantiate them.

The court may nevertheless adjust the arrangement if immediate or full compliance is not realistic. For example, it can introduce shorter contact moments or a gradual resumption before the original arrangement resumes.

What does the case law show?

Dutch courts have enforced arrangements both against parents who obstruct contact and against parents who refuse to exercise their own care or contact.

Father with parental responsibility refused to provide care

In 2016, the Arnhem-Leeuwarden Court of Appeal considered a case in which both parents had parental responsibility. The father made it clear that he would not comply with a care arrangement for his son.

He argued that communication with the mother was difficult, that contact with her caused negative feelings and that he no longer enjoyed the arrangement. He also relied on his work.

The court held that these objections were insufficient. The father had not shown that his feelings towards the mother would harm his son or that his work made weekend care reasonably impossible.

The father was ordered to care for his son once every two weeks, from Saturday at 10:00 until Sunday at 18:15. A penalty of €50 applied for each failure to comply, up to a maximum of €500. See ECLI:NL:GHARL:2016:4010.

This case concerned the father’s own refusal to provide care. It did not concern a mother refusing to hand over the child.

Father without parental responsibility repeatedly missed contact

In January 2026, the Amsterdam Court of Appeal considered a case in which the mother had sole parental responsibility. The father repeatedly failed to attend scheduled contact with the children.

The court expressly confirmed that a parent without parental responsibility has not only a right but also an obligation to have contact with their child.

It upheld a penalty of €100 for each occasion on which the father did not, or did not fully, comply with the arrangement, up to a maximum of €5,000. See ECLI:NL:GHAMS:2026:44.

This was also a case about a parent refusing or failing to exercise their own contact.

Work and financial objections were insufficient

In April 2026, the Amsterdam Court of Appeal ordered a father with joint parental responsibility to care for his children every other weekend, from Friday evening until Sunday evening.

The father relied on his work, financial circumstances and housing situation. The court found that he had not sufficiently demonstrated that these circumstances prevented him from taking a larger share of the care.

A penalty of €250 applied for each failure to comply, up to a maximum of €5,000. See ECLI:NL:GHAMS:2026:940.

Again, this concerned a parent’s refusal to exercise their own share of the care.

A penalty must be requested

A financial penalty is called a dwangsom. It is intended to encourage compliance with the court’s order.

In 2023, the Dutch Supreme Court ruled that a court may only impose a dwangsom if one of the parties has expressly requested it. The court cannot impose one entirely on its own initiative. This applies to both care arrangements and contact arrangements. See ECLI:NL:HR:2023:1459.

Importantly, the underlying case concerned the first type of refusal discussed in this article: a mother with sole parental responsibility had obstructed contact between the children and their father. The Supreme Court’s judgment concerned the procedural question of whether the court could impose a penalty without a request. It did not concern an unwilling parent being ordered to exercise their own contact.

A financial penalty is not always appropriate

Even if the court orders compliance, it does not automatically impose a penalty.

In March 2025, the Amsterdam Court of Appeal ordered a father to comply with an existing contact arrangement but refused to attach the requested penalty. The parents regularly disagreed about who was responsible when contact did not take place.

The court considered that a penalty could lead to further disputes and increase the conflict between the parents. That would place additional pressure on the children. See ECLI:NL:GHAMS:2025:712.

The court therefore assesses two separate questions:

1. Should the parent be ordered to comply?
2. Would a financial penalty serve the child’s interests?

When will contact not be enforced?

Contact will not be enforced blindly. For a parent without parental responsibility, Article 1:377a BW provides that contact may be denied if:

• contact would seriously harm the child’s physical or emotional development;
• the parent is clearly unfit or unable to have responsible contact;
• a child aged 12 or over expresses serious objections; or
• contact would otherwise conflict with the child’s compelling interests.

Similar concerns are relevant when the court considers restricting contact with a parent who has parental responsibility.

Serious safety concerns, domestic violence, addiction or significant psychological problems must be carefully investigated. Depending on the circumstances, the court may suspend contact, require supervision or establish a gradual arrangement.

An existing court-ordered arrangement should generally be followed until it is changed or suspended. A parent should therefore seek legal advice before unilaterally stopping contact, unless immediate action is necessary to protect the child.

What can you do if the arrangement is not followed?

The appropriate response depends on which parent is refusing to comply.

If the other parent will not hand over the child

Keep a factual record of:

• the agreed contact moments;
• each missed handover;
• the reasons given;
• relevant messages or emails; and
• any proposals you made to resolve the problem.

A family lawyer can assess whether to request an order requiring the other parent to cooperate, a clarification of the arrangement or a financial penalty.

If the other parent will not exercise their contact

Record cancelled weekends, missed collection times and the reasons provided. The impact on the child and on the practical division of care may also be relevant.

The court may order compliance, change the arrangement or introduce a gradual resumption. A penalty may be requested if repeated non-compliance is likely to continue.

Check whether the arrangement is enforceable

A lawyer can determine whether the arrangement is contained in:

• a court decision;
• a parenting plan incorporated into a court decision;
• another enforceable agreement; or
• only an informal arrangement.

If no enforceable arrangement exists, it may first be necessary to ask the court to establish one.

Read more about children and divorce in the Netherlands.

Can the child approach the court?

A child can use the Dutch informal procedure for children to raise a question about a care or contact arrangement.

The child can send a letter or email explaining that they:

• want contact with a parent;
• want an existing arrangement changed; or
• want contact to stop.

Article 1:377g BW expressly provides this possibility for children aged 12 and over. A younger child may also approach the court if capable of reasonably understanding and assessing their interests.

The judge may invite the child for a private conversation, speak to the parents, request an investigation or make a temporary or final decision. The child’s views are important, but the child does not have to decide the dispute.

Frequently asked questions

What if a parent refuses to hand over the child?

The other parent may ask the court to order cooperation with the care or contact arrangement. The court can clarify the handover arrangements and, if requested and appropriate, impose a financial penalty.

Can a parent be forced to exercise their own contact?

A court can order a parent to comply with their own care or contact obligations. Whether enforcement is appropriate depends on the child’s interests and the parent’s substantiated circumstances.

Can the court impose a financial penalty?

Yes, but only if a party has requested it and the court considers the penalty appropriate and in the child’s interests.

Does it matter whether the parent has parental responsibility?

Yes. For a parent with parental responsibility, the obligations follow from the duty to care for and raise the child and to promote the child’s relationship with the other parent. A parent without parental responsibility has an express statutory contact obligation under Article 1:377a BW.

Can a parent simply stop following an existing arrangement?

Generally not. An existing court-ordered arrangement remains applicable until valid alternative arrangements are made or the court changes or suspends it.

Advice from a Dutch family lawyer

Failure to follow a care or contact arrangement can take different forms. One parent may obstruct the child’s contact with the other parent, while another parent may refuse to exercise their own care or contact. The appropriate legal response depends on which situation applies.

Is the other parent refusing to hand over your child, repeatedly cancelling their own contact or failing to comply with another part of the arrangement? Please contact our Family and Divorce team for advice tailored to your situation.